Mixed Signals

With so many communication problems between humans and with all of the confusion in the world today, you would think that something as simple as having your car washed by an automatic car wash would not be the major source of mixed signals in your daily activity, right? Well think again..... As I pulled up and deposited my $7 for the "best wash money can buy" (this is actually what the man in the machine said to me in that crazy computer voice) I thought that in a quick 5 minutes or so I would leave with a clean car - it's just that simple. That was until I drove forward, as the light read, then stopped, as the light read, and then backed up, just like the flashing light told me to do - Damn! I must have missed the sensor pads (I only say that because that is what Emily said, three, four or five times...) So I proceeded to drive forward, stop, back up, stop, drive forward, stop, back up, stop for another 6 minutes at least. That was a minute longer than I expected to be in the car wash and it hasn't even started washing the damn car! I don't know if I was actually doing something wrong or if the automatic car wash isn't really automatic and there was some guy sitting in a booth watching me go back and forth just laughing his ass off.... I actually hope that was the case.

The Power of Prayer

I have been meaning to write this since Easter, it makes sense right...? I think people typically bless their food at Easter dinner which to me is prayer. Of course, my family was not the typical family and we DID NOT bless our food at Easter, or at Christmas or at any other holiday or just any other given day period! But this Easter my family was not around and I went with a friend to her parents house for dinner and yes, there was prayer - and lots of it! And in a way that I am just not use to.... So let me preface this by saying that I do pray - I pray a lot! However; after this visit on Easter I realized that my prayers are so damn informal! I mean, you know those T-shirts that read "Jesus is my Homeboy"? Well, that is how my prayers are... casual conversations with my Homeboy thanking him or her for all of the many blessings in my life or asking for help with the situations I put myself in... you know - prayer! Anyway - if what I learned this Easter is the correct way to pray (if there is one correct way to pray) then here are some things we all should know:

• When blessing the food I always thought I should just being thankful that there was actually food in front of me to eat - OH NO! I should be thankful for the nourishment I will get from the food, I should bless the person who prepared my meal, and along those lines, I guess I should also bless the farmer who grew it, the illegal immigrant that was paid $.25 / hour to pick my food, the trucker who drove my food to my grocery store, the grocer at the grocery store who laid it out all pretty for me to pick from, the checker , the bagger - I mean, where does it stop??
• You should always bless anyone and everyone you know that needs some form of blessing - whether they are ill, someone in their family is ill, if they are having financial troubles, getting married, getting divorced, having a baby, trying to have a baby, trying to get into college, getting kicked out of college.... You get my drift right? And this is not just your close family or friends, this includes EVERYONE! My suggestion, read through the local newspaper first with a yellow highlighter in hand and set it on the floor by you in case you are called on to lead prayer.
• Don't forget to bless the leaders of your Church - this one is a bit hard for me because not only do I not have a church of my own, I don't know the leaders of any Church (maybe the Pope, but I don't even know who the pope is anymore - wasn't he on Hitler's side once??) Also, there is some confusion here because if anything, I would think the leaders of the church should bless me not the other way around... I mean really??? How far will my blessing get the leader of a church??
• Prayers are not just for meal time and bed time and they are not private... You can and I guess should pray in groups and pray often.

So - with that being said, I am not sure that I will ever be able to correctly pray again. First; at meals - I would starve if I had to sit through one of those prayers every time I ate! I now understand why the "meal preparers" like to taste the food before sending it to the table. Second; I love to pray for my friends and family and even for those that I think need my blessings such as the men and women that keep me safe and risk their lives every day - but as far as Brother and Sister Smith down the road who are having problems with the birth of their 10th child, they should really ask the other 9 kids to pray and not count on mine. And lastly; as far as praying in public, yeah...... this is something I am just not comfortable with. I like my private, casual conversations with the divine and I have to hope that so does he or she.... I think it works, I mean - I am quite blessed!

So as I head off to bed tonight I will pray, not kneeling by the side of my bed with my arms crossed, but laying in a cozy position, one where I will be comfortable for a while as my prayers sometimes turn to ramblings. I will pray for my family, both those living and the ones that have made it to a better place. I will pray for my pets (same goes - living and beyond). I will pray for my friends that need blessings - honestly... don't be offended if you don't make my prayers every night. I will pray for the men in my life, the one I am in love with, the one that I loved at one time and the little boy who has and will always have my heart. And I will pray that something will change in this scary ass crazy world that we live in SOON so that I don't have so damn much to pray about every night!